Written by Camille

  1. If you call and the only time he picks up is during work hours or it’s after work hours and you get sent straight to voicemail. Congrats. You are OFFICIALLY a SIDE CHICK.
  2. If he celebrates Valentine’s Day with you on any day OTHER THAN February 14th. Yep, you guessed it. You’re a SIDE CHICK.
  3. If your name in his phone is Aunt (insert your name here), he might as well replace it with SIDE CHICK.
  4. You tell him you miss him and he replies, “Aww do u really?” As opposed to, “I miss you too babe.” What other way would you expect him to reply to a SIDE CHICK.
  5. If he asks you what you would like as a gift and you never receive it, don’t look for a thank you note in the mail from him that reads: Thanks boo for helping find my girlfriends’ birthday gift. I owe you…smgdh. Pick up your face off the ground and wear your title proud—SIDE CHICK.
  6. He shows no interest in making you his main chick and when you ask about your status he claims he’s not ready for a relationship. Don’t worry. I’ll wait. SIDE CHICK.
  7. His friends openly flirt with you and he shows no signs of giving a f—k. They are officially living by the creed, “It ain’t no fun unless we all get some.” SIDE CHICK.
  8. If you have never seen his home and his only idea of a date is to knock boots in the back seat or at a motel. YOU ARE THE SIDE CHICK.

What makes a side chick is obviously the side chick accepting how she’s being treated. It’s one thing to not know, it’s another thing to know and be okay with said circumstances. According to guys, side chicks are more like a home away from home. They can do what they want without the restrictions of actually being at home.

There are two types of side chicks—a coherent and non-coherent. A coherent side chick feels more important and at times she may be depending on how the guy feels. She’s never lied to and he can be himself around her, talk to her about any and everything because he knows that she won’t feel a certain way about anything he says. A non-coherent side chick is pretty much in the same boat as the main chick, THEY’RE BOTH CLUELESS. At the end of the day I doubt that any female in this situation is coming out better than the other.

To all of my side chicks out there: focus on you and bettering yourself. Never make someone a priority who only makes you an option. Remember, a man won’t give you the title if you fit the job description for free!